


Your story never added up

by Pegship



Series: Castle Episodic [15]
Category: Castle
Genre: Castle's disappearance, Episode: s07e20 Sleeper, Espo is not a good bro, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Mistrust, Season/Series 07 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 11:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3808507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegship/pseuds/Pegship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You don't believe me, do you."</p><p>"Your story about the missing two months never added up. Still doesn't."</p><p>Esposito comes right out and says it. Castle responds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your story never added up

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 7x20, "Sleeper". How I imagine the conversation between Castle and Esposito might have gone, were there world enough and time. All my own fancy, of course.

"You don't believe me, do you."

"For my money, your story about the missing two months never added up. Still doesn't."

Castle wasn't surprised, not really. Esposito's skepticism had skated so close to the surface of his actions and conversations, Castle's only surprise was that it had taken this long for the detective to say it, out loud, to his face.

"You have all the same facts as I do," Castle said. "Why don't - "

"The same _facts_ ," said Esposito emphatically. "Sure. But the _facts_ don't explain what was going on in your head the whole time. From the moment you disappeared to the moment you supposedly 'woke up' in that hospital - you expect us to believe you don't recall anything?"

"I don't expect anyone to believe anything," Castle told him. "And I don't really think you're speaking for anyone else, so you can drop the 'we', Esposito."

"Okay, then. I. I don't see how it's possible that you were just a victim of circumstance. I don't see any reason for you disappearing off the face of the earth - there was no ransom demand, no sign of you dead or alive after that video at the dumpster. Either it was a stupid publicity stunt, or you had a meltdown and decided to run away. Whatever happened - it was of your own free will. That's what the facts tell me. That's what I see. What I saw - all summer long."

Castle had just stared at Esposito throughout his tirade. Now he walked over to the door of the work room and, very quietly, closed the door. Then he returned to his place, standing at the table, and spoke, also quietly.

"What you saw, all summer long? I can guess what you saw. You saw Beckett, shocked and stunned and struggling to find some meaning in the evidence. You saw my family, Beckett's dad, the precinct, grasping at straws once the FBI gave up on the investigation. Worst of all, you saw Beckett's heart breaking over a guy you had only just come to accept as a friend."

"Damn right, I saw her." Esposito spoke low, but his teeth were clenched and his eyes unwavering. "I've known her longer than you, Castle. I've seen her at the top of the world and at the very bottom of the sewer, and I have never seen her like that before. You saw the TV interview, didn't you? Kate Beckett, reduced to begging in public for clues. She was so hypnotized by you - of course she couldn't believe you'd leave her. You convinced her of that - and then you either got scared, or got tired of the game, and you left."

Castle looked down at the table for a moment. Then he said, "I didn't see her all summer. That's true. There's a lot you haven't seen, either. I've seen her at the top of the world - solving her mother's murder - and at the bottom - when she shot Coonan, and after she was shot herself. I may not have known her as long as you, but I know her at least as well as you do. Maybe better."

"You think so," said Esposito. "But you can't. You haven't been on the front lines with her like - "

"I haven't?" Castle looked up again and now there was fire in his eyes. "I may not carry a gun, Espo, but that hasn't stopped me from following her into battle. Not just the kind that could get us killed - the kind that could have destroyed her, us, from the inside. You have no idea what she and I have been through together.

"I know you must have heard about the obstacles we overcame just to get to that day, our wedding day." He went on speaking over Esposito's attempt to get a word in. "The fire, the broken pipe, the damn Vegas marriage. Would I have gone through any of that, if not for the sake of ending up married to Kate Beckett? I could have bailed at any time. I could have broken off the engagement without going to all the trouble and expense. I'm not some bashful first-time groom who suddenly realized what he was getting into."

"No - but maybe you never took her seriously enough to go through with it," Esposito snapped. "You never planned to show. You set it up so you could make your dramatic disappearance - maybe not for the purpose of breaking her heart, but to be sure the world knew you were gone, so you could run away and hide."

For a moment, Castle's expression was one of pity. Then his anger resurfaced.

"Why did I come back, then?" he demanded. "Why did I marry her after all?"

"I don't know. It took you a while, though, didn't it? And it wasn't like you had a lot of arrangements to make. Apparently, all y'all did was get a special license and a convenient judge and bam, said the lady," sarcastically, "you're married. But you've gotten out of that noose before - twice - so it doesn't mean as much to you..."

That was when Esposito found himself seized by the front of his jacket and rammed up against the door frame, Castle's words hissing in his face.

"It - she means more to me than anything you have ever longed for," he growled. "You want to know how much? Two days after I left the hospital I wanted to go down to City Hall and get married. I made that ridiculous reward offer, just to try to get any leads, and what I got was a load of garbage from every nutcase in the world."

"Don't expect me to feel sorry for you," Espo spat back. "You can talk and pay your way out of anything. Hell, you can always call it _research_ , right?"

Castle gave him a last shove and stepped back.

"You don't have to believe me, Esposito," he said. "I don't care whether you do. I don't care what anyone thinks of me - except Kate. I've heard your piece, and I've said mine. Keep it to yourself from now on and we might still be able to work together. For her sake."

He picked up the folder of possible leads from the table and turned toward the door. Esposito stepped away to let him leave, but before Castle opened the door, he said to Esposito, "And if you don't have the _cojones_ to ask Kate what she believes, you don't deserve to know."

Castle went out, leaving the door open, headed for the break room with the folder. Esposito stared unseeingly at the board in the work room, still seething, until the sound of Beckett's voice stirred him out of his reverie.

"Hey, Espo, you want coffee? I made a pot - I know you don't go for that fancy stuff Castle's machine makes."

He turned to meet her eyes. Her puzzled-but-patient expression was familiar to him from nearly every case she'd investigated with him and Ryan. She seemed to be applying the same attitude to Castle's _Total Recall_ fantasy.

"I'll get some, in a bit," he replied, seeing Castle's shadow in the break room. "Gotta let it mellow, you know?"

Beckett rolled her eyes and turned to walk away. Esposito couldn't help himself.

"Beckett - do you believe him?"

Like Castle, she didn't seem surprised by the question.

"I believe _in_ him," she told him readily. "That's enough for me. For now."

She went off to the break room, and Javier Esposito was left hardly wiser than when he'd started, not knowing whether it was enough for him.


End file.
